Alone. It’s not something I am often if I was being honest. I am blessed to always be surrounded by people that I love and care about, so in the rare instances, I get time to myself I tend to flounder a bit. I overthink what I want to do and usually stay home and nap because it seems easier than the alternative. I found myself with a few hours of alone time on a random Friday afternoon and was so tempted to just stay home and nap or work on house stuff. Instead, I dropped my daughter off for a fun afternoon and headed to my favorite place for a fancy blackberry margarita and some veggie nachos. I had a ton of schoolwork, work work, housework to do but my body, mind, and soul was screaming at me to do something a little different and treat myself. I called ahead to make sure I could plug my laptop in secretly hoping they would say no so I would be forced back into the safety of my house, but instead, the kind hostess said come on down we have the perfect place for you. When I walked in the same kind hostess didn’t even look twice she just led me to the table we had discussed and told me to enjoy my lunch. I’ll admit when I walked in and saw a full table of friends; laughing and lunching I nearly walked back out for fear of looking odd. Instead, I stayed the course and sat down pulled out my laptop, and got to work. It didn’t take long before I was so immersed in what I was doing that everybody else disappeared. I even forgot I was sitting in a restaurant until the waitress came to take my order. I don’t prefer being alone on a normal day, too many thoughts in my mind that unsettle me but today it seemed right. It was needed. Time to reflect and remember why I love the person I am and the areas that I still need to grow and tend to. No looming responsibilities staring me in the face interrupting my thoughts. Just time. To myself. To think. To reflect. To write. To enjoy my own company. I’m glad for this time its been a stressful few weeks and it has been wearing me down little by little. Stealing my joy and leaving me feeling empty inside and I hate to admit it but also cranky, forgetful, and flustered. I forgot how important it is to just sit and take time for myself but I am so glad that I did.
If you are looking for a delicious blackberry marg or a huge plate of veggies nachos please head to Primos Tequila Bar in Ripon!